BEN’S BLOG: ‘Emergency meeting between the CEOs of Ladbrokes, Hills and Corals’

Published On June 11, 2017 | Ben Keith

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“Bloody hell, the election result was a bit worrying, wasn’t it, lads?”

“Tell me about it. We were all banking on Theresa May getting a mega majority and keeping the Roulette Machines spinning.”

“I know, I know. So anyway, what’s this Horse Racing and Dog Racing that I’ve heard people talking about? I certainly never saw any of it when I was at university doing a silly degree”

“Well, they have animals. And people train them. They run around a track and I think Punters used to bet on them before Roulette came along and made us billions without having to do any work.”

“Realllllyyyy? Fuuuuck! You learn something new everyday.”

“But who makes the odds on this racing?”

“Apparently, we used to have people who worked for us who knew about this type of stuff. But we sacked them all, to bump up our own Brucie Bonuses, when we were getting plenty out of the Roulette.”

“Yeah, and it was so easy just copying Betfair for any prices on the racing. And the best bit was being able to cover-up our own under-achieving and tell the stock-market the racing-results had been ” bad” when we weren’t making any money. Haha! What a game that was, eh? We won’t get away with it anymore though…” (A little bit of crying now happening).

“And guys, the liquidity on Betfair is now completely gone too, because they went hypocritical and became bookies themselves. So what are we going to do about getting our Dogs and Horse prices right, so we can still actually make a few quid, once the Roulette Machines have been turned off?”

SILENCE.

Over and out, B x

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