BEN’S BLOG: ‘If you can’t be bothered to learn your fractions and percentages sheet..VOTE CORBYN..!’

Published On September 13, 2015 | Ben Keith

ben_keith_team-150x150“….it has been my dream to work for Star Sports….I want to do anything and everything….I just want to learn…..” MY FRESH SPRING LAMBS.

I look back. I have seen it all before, ten trillion times.

And now, on auto-pilot, I automatically say…”Please go into the office, and come back to the Skype room, with a laminated copy of the decimals, percentages, and fractions sheet.”. (It’s only 1 page, that’s all.)

They return.

I then tell them that NOBODY, has EVER got ANY money out of the game, before they know ALL of those figures, off by heart. NOBODY.

“Baah, baah, baah”, the lamb nods back.

Three months later. It’s time for a catch-up chat.

“So, how’s it going?”

I then ask them what the favourite for next year’s Derby is? What going will it want? What do they think will go off favourite for the Gold Cup? And why? (Like I care).

They’re confident now, Blog! They know all of those answers PARROTT FASHION. Yeah, Baby…!!!

And then I ask if they’ve learnt their fractions and percentages sheet.

The lamb is scared. But in fear, with a whimper, it lies.

‘Yes.’

‘So, what percentage is a 7/4 chance…?’.

And like Malcolm Marshall, flying towards the wicket, just a second later, there is silence, and I have cleaned bowled them.

Looking back, I say “I’m so sorry that you are someone who knows everything about nothing, but have taken the choice, to never make any money out the game for yourself.”

They are three months into their first year. At which point; they will think they know more than me. At two years; their knowledge, combined with the fact they still aren’t winning punting, will turn into contempt. And at the three year mark; it will be full blown hatred.

“…it’s different for him….we know about the draw at Redcar…AND the ground at Hamilton….he doesn’t….he’s just lucky.”. I’VE SEEN IT TEN TRILLION TIMES.

corbynDuring the general election, Labour dressed in suits. They put up politicians, who looked smart and had nice-faces. They managed, just about, to fit in. They told us they like to see people doing well for themselves. That they understand aspiration and ambition. And that they didn’t want a benefit culture, living as much on jealousy, as other people’s money. THANK GOD WE DIDNT BELIEVE THEM.

And now, in voting in, Jeremy Corbyn, they have shown what they’re REALLY about: Imposing themselves, on those that ‘do’, and have actually moved forward. And intrinsic, deep, seething jealousy.

So, if you can’t be bothered to learn your fractions and percentages sheet, and you think I’m lucky; VOTE CORBYN.

Over and out, B x

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