TALES FROM THE RING: Champions Day Ascot

CHAMPIONS DAY ASCOT SATURDAY: Simon Nott reports from the Star Sports pitch at Ascot on Champions Day. Before racing it looked a card dominated by John Gosden trained hot-pots. How did the afternoon turn out?

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Huge rumour on arrival at the racecourse that one independent major on-course firm had bought out another major-player’s on-course pitches. Rumours being rumours I can’t elaborate but when it breaks you heard it here.

Matt Chapman with cameras pounced on Ben to ask him what damage Frankie Dettori could do today, Ben said he didn’t know but being an action junkie he quite likes it when the first two win. The first being Stradivarius, evens with us and 7/1 the Dettori treble special with Lah Ti Dar and Cracksman. The crowd was as buzzy as Chapman with plenty of decent bets coming in off the floor. It got buzzier still when one of the commission agents having lumps on at Royal Ascot made his presence known.

Camilla from Horse and Hound arrived to work on the pitch and ultimately write a feature. Ben asked her to do payouts in the hope that she didn’t have much to do.

1:25 Qipco British Champions Long Distance Cup (Group 2)

Sadly the big commission agent didn’t come back before they were sent on their way for the first. Lofty described it ‘alright’ business wth the biggest cash bet an even £600.

That didn’t go well, Frankie Dettori, at his very best, pleased favourite backers with a win on Stradivarius. No silly ‘got a tune out of it’ puns here you’ll be pleased to know.

2:00 Qipco British Champions Sprint Stakes (Group 1)

Next up was harder. The Tin Man opened at 10/3 with us. One lady marched up with a list and ask for a bet and offered to pay the tax. ‘Pay the tax!’ Whatever next, phrases you rarely hear. Not only was her bet tax free but she got a sweet too.

I got a request to take a photo of Harry Angel going down, this was the best I could do.

It was busier in the ring people-wise than the majority of the Royal Meeting but without any of the big bets. Our eyes were still peeled for the commission agent but was so far proving to be elusive. Betting got a bit hectic, so it didn’t take long for Lofty’s voice to be heard raised, it’s a shame I’m no longer able to record video, comedy gold!

It was all smiles on the pitch after the race. Brand Ambassador Adam Kirby did his best to get Harry Angel, the worst in the book, home but Paul Hanagan on Sands Of Mali at 28/1 would not be denied. The cheers deafening the punters in the vacinity of the betting ring were from the massed ranks of bookies. Aye Aye.

2:40 Qipco British Champions Fillies & Mares Stakes (Group 1)

Next up another short one in Lah Ti Dar. It looked as if at least some of the punters were already potless, luckily you can bet contactless with us, as one punter did. Paul Gold, betting in front of us offered cashback too, not with us though sir. We did think up sending the punter to him to get the cash to bet with us, but didn’t think it was cricket.

The free cigars were popular with punters that had decent bets, what they don’t know is that they are dished out in the hope they get to enjoy a ‘Hamlet moment’ after the race.

The office called to say Magical had been laid to hefty each-way sums. On course we laid on course were £1,000-£800 and £1,100-£1,000 the jolly!

Getting the favourite beaten on course was an excellent result of course. Sadly, being a two-tier firm that didn’t tell the whole story. I’m not allowed to mention figures but Magical winning cost the firm what can be ambiguously described as bundles. No smiles on the pitch after that result, the only plus being Ben could crack on with betting on the next. Oh and of course, the special treble bit the dust.

3:15 Queen Elizabeth II Stakes (Group 1) (Sponsored By Qipco)

‘They’ say this game tames lions, that’s very true but Roaring Lion was the one they all wanted to be on early, that is except those bigger punters presumably enjoying a ‘Hamlet Moment’ with their Star Sports cigars.

They knew, just. Roaring Lion scraped home by a neck, they still get paid if they scrape home though. The biggest bet in the book was just £600 but it all added up to a nice few quid.

3:50 Qipco Champion Stakes (Group 1)

Next up Cracksman which opened at 10/11. It seemed that some of the punters were getting slightly refreshed. It didn’t help that there was a late 5p Rule 4 to be deducted from winning bets. One lady was getting extremely irate in the queue saying all she wanted to do was put her winnings on fornicating Cracksman, or words to that effect. One gentleman explained to the lady that there was a queue. Fair play to her, she had some gusto in her and kept on cussing until she got her winnings and still had it on with us.

There was a final flurry for the jolly which returned 5/6, the last bets in our book were at 10/11. Cracksman absolutely bolting in by six lengths wasn’t pleasant viewing for bookmakers – though some performance admired by them too.

4:30 Balmoral Handicap (Sponsored By Qipco)

Ben got stuck into betting on the last with Camilla paying the happy winners, luckily with no rule 4 complications to slow things up. At 5/1 the field it was up to the punters to find the winner. Jamie arrived back from an ablutions visit, no quick job on a busy day, Lofty was getting the needle. As often happens my old dear departed boss Jack Lynn’s words rang in my ears from beyond the grave, ‘Don’t drink too much when you are on the pitch, you can’t work with your cock in your hand!’ They don’t make them like Jack anymore.

Business was brisk with plenty of punters backing plenty of horses though not to volumes of money.

That was until a credit punter came in for a £50,000 – £5,000 each way Mitchum Swagger and a monkey each way Another Batt at 66/1.

Another Batt running a hell of a race to finish in the money in fourth was the place that ruined the day on course. There wasn’t much in it until then, we lost in cash and credit. Don’t even mention the office. Oh well, it was excellent to be back on the turf for a busy Saturday. Race days are like London buses, we’re back for a brace next Friday and Saturday at Cheltenham. See you there.

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Simon Nott is author of:
Skint Mob! Tales from the Betting Ring

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