AUTHOR: Star Sports Content

15 Runner H’caps, Bounty bars and Gay Marriage

Blog, did you know that, in this world, not only do some people bet each-way in fifteen runner handicaps, others even think Bounty bars taste nice, and guess what? There are EVEN gay people out there too! OH MY GOD?! REALLY!? Yes! Get over it!!!

Due to Star Racing Ltd paying such a ridiculous amount of tax, it is soon going to be organised for myself and Gaul Wood to run the country. This is true. Each day, our saviour, Pam Statements, makes her daily jobs list. I would have thought that legalising gay marriage in church would be such a banal obvious, it would appear as something to be done, probably after lunch, when more testing tasks such as re-uploading my Ipod and explaining to Gaul Wood how the printer works, for the umpteenth time, have been completed.

The country’s on the deck. The ref’s got to ‘7’ and we’re still sparko. When we should ACTIONING ways to get going, why are we getting bogged down with silly questions of Heathrow’s extra runway and gay marriage. Proceed with both, and then let’s get back to the business of spending time worrying about constructive issues that move us forward.

The government appear to have missed a point. They say they can’t overrule the church bosses. Er, why? You run the country, we voted you in as the least crap option, that’s exactly what you CAN do. When you want to tax the last scraps of dust out of UK bookmakers, I don’t see Westminster quaking in their boots at what industry spivs like me think!

Anyway, why should gay people be held back and punished for what is simply their nature? If you don’t like it, don’t go to the wedding. And to be worrying about what a load of old religious weirdos think? Come of it, after their performance in the last fifty years, I think they could do with going with the flow, smelling the 2013 blend of coffee, and winning a few public opinion brownie points.

Okay, Pam, as follows, please:
9am Ipod updates. (Don’t miss out Carly Rae Jepsen or any other ‘wedding music’ as Lukey calls it.) 9.30am Assist Gaul in his running feud with the printer.
10am Call Alex Builder. Arrange further Frankenstein extensions on the student properties and give go ahead for Heathrow runway.
10.30am Email the church, the Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and cc in all Gay charities and organisations, and tell them to proceed with gay marriage.
11am Make sure one of the steak baguettes has been put aside, out of Lofty’s reach, for me.

Thanking you!

Ben x