AUTHOR: Star Sports Content

Another mango martini for you, Jel?

All the way through my teens and twenties, my life dream was that I would find someone to invest in all of my crap business ideas. Unfortunately, that person (lunatic) didn’t appear, but I am now inundated with other young entrepreneurs wanting me to be their lunatic.

The usual scenario is that, when the latest crew of Gekko and Del Boy wannabies leave my office, I to turn to Gaul Wood to say ‘I really like these guys. I think they’ve got something…’, he butts in first, to say a firm and clear ‘No. No way.’. I then sulk for an hour or so, he then gives in, and we make a small play.

However, my latest little move, Star Antiques, makes its dayboo on Thursday. We are going to see if we can buy antiques in France and sell them at the swanky West End auction-rooms for a profit. For this mission I have recruited my great friend, Jerry ‘Warfumstaw’ Croxford, and the recently ‘officially between jobs’ Will ‘Stockbroker’.

For many years, before becoming one of the most successful professional gamblers in the country, Jerry was an antiques dealer, and his father that before him. However, in the modern age, Jerry’s beloved ‘Warfumstaw’ has closed, you can’t ‘get on’ graded dog-racing anywhere, and he is having to go back to his old tricks. I believe in him, and I am giving him Star’s full backing. Alongside him, will be Will. The maverick that Jerry is, needs an organiser, controller, assistant, and nanny. I’m not sure if Will knows what he’s in for yet…

I had dinner with Will this evening, at the great Motcombs, and we were discussing the big day. On Thursday, they are off to Paris with the readdies, and are going to spend a couple of days doing some damage at French antiques markets and auctions. Will was telling me about the first time he met Jerry. It was at last year’s Star Christmas party. Everybody had retired to the Grand hotel, Kellvin had done a piss in the corner of the bar and been asked to leave, and Will was waiting to buy a drink. Aside him, a larger than life character had moved to the front of the pack, and on summoning the barmaid over, he called out ‘A mango martini for me, please darling’. The poor girl was dumbfounded. In that moment, Jerry Warfumstaw had just entered Will Stockbroker’s life.

The idea of Jerry running around France buying furniture that hoorays will buy in London at a great mark-up gives me a kick. I hope the venture makes a prosperous start.

Good luck, lads.

Ben x

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