Arsenal v Man U (4pm. SKY)
STAR EVENT: Arsenal v Man U
The Emirates
TIME: 4pm
TV: SKY
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury [PROSECUTION] “We present the evidence in this case to you today….. We suggest you take the time to study this, and this alone in this matter…”
3 Nov 2012 League, Man Utd 2 β 1 Arsenal
22 Jan 2012 League, Arsenal 1 β 2 Man Utd
28 Aug 2011 League, Man Utd 8 β 2 Arsenal
01 May 2011 League, Arsenal 1 β 0 Man Utd
12 Mar 2011 FA Cup, Man Utd 2 β 0 Arsenal
13 Dec 2010 League, Man Utd 1 β 0 Arsenal
31 Jan 2010 League, Arsenal 1 β 3 Man Utd
29 Aug 2009 League, Man Utd 2 β 1 Arsenal
16 May 2009 League, Man Utd 0 β 0 Arsenal
05 May 2009 Champions League, Arsenal 1 β 3 Man Utd
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury [PROSECUTION] “We can identify just one win for the aforementioned Arsenal in the last 10 meetings.”
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury [PROSECUTION] “On the date of the twenty eighth of August, in the year two thousand and eleven, the score was Manchester United 8 – that’s e-i-g-h-t Ladies and Gentlemen, Arsenal, er,Β two.”
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury [PROSECUTION] “Man United are a vastly superior team to Arsenal this season….” [DEFENCE] “Objection, conjecture” [PROSECUTION] “See the table, exhibit 21p, Man United are 21 points clear of Arsenal.” [M’LUD] “Objection overruled”.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury [PROSECUTION] “Man United are already crowned Champions….” [DEFENCE] “This means they won’t have anything left to play for.” [GENERAL HOWLS OF LAUGHTER IN COURTROOM]. [M’LUD] “SILENCE IN COURT”
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury [DEFENCE] “The prosecution also recommended Newcastle beating Liverpool last night. Β M’lud, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of the score but I will do – 6-0 not to Newcastle. That proves the ineptness of my learned friend. [PROSECUTION] With respect, m’lud, we are talking about Man U today and not Newcastle. It’s the difference between chalk and cheese or in the case of Newcastle, er, black and white. And we did say plenty of goals with a recommendation, M’lud, of a cover bet, commonly known as ‘overs’, with the establishment known as Star Sports.”
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury [M’LUD] “I have studied the evidence in this case and direct you to find in favour of the prosecution. On this occasion, and this occasion alone, I will also direct that you can use your telephones in court. Anything around 5/2 about Man United has to be availed of immediately in these circumstances. COURT ADJOUNED”
STAR FORECAST
(stake between 0.5 and 10 points)
6 points win MAN U to beat ARSENAL
(-1.5 points Saturday)
Agree OR disagree? Call Star Sports on 08000 521 321 to place your bet.