AUTHOR: Star Sports Content

BEN KEITH: ‘Leave my ‘Toro’ alone, please!

Ben pictured with Toro – (Ben’s on the right).

Pam, still no word from Mr Gekko? I’m really not happy with you. Please sort this out, and get me off his drong-list, at once. Don’t let this be your fall from grace, not when you’ve come so far. This is the big-one, and we can’t miss the target. Keep calling.

I want to get in front of Gekko, and I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Please get on the phone to Max Shoes. Black Cheaney, leather slip-ons, no buckle. Old-school smart. Include a compliment-slip, and also a belt, and tell him to have ‘GG’ inscribed inside it. Fed-Ex it over in the morning, and give him the full treatment. I’m here till Wednesday and I have every intention of breaking through before leaving.

Other New York Notes:

We went today, to Wall Street, to check out that end of town. It’s not really a very long road, and at the end, you turn left, walk a few blocks, and get to my favourite statue in the World – ‘The Toro’. He is a fantastic, raging bull, and represents the ‘Bull Market’, when everything is going up, the whole economy is charging forward, and shameless opportunists, like myself, are jumping aboard.

I am very disappointed to say though, Blog, that many of the people having their photo taken with him, were dis-respecting him, and didn’t quite appreciate what he stands for. They were mocking him, and posing for the camera, whilst tickling his balls, and some even pretending to perform a sex-act upon his person. The unruly socialists – even in New York! I eventually managed to barge some of them out of the way and include the attached photo.

Yesterday, on the way to the beach, we met a fabulous, real-life, American character. Our taxi-driver, Mo, was a bit lost, and he pulled over, to ask a police-officer a question. I could see immediately that he looked game for a laugh, so I pulled down the window, and in my finest English accent, called out ‘Excuse me, Officer. Could you please tell us the quickest way to the beach?!’. He explained, and I then asked him in my best and slowest New York accent, just like in the movies, if I should ‘GET OUTTA THE CAR AND PUT MY HANDS WHERE HE COULD SEE ‘EM’. He absolutely pissed himself laughing and I proceeded with some further American police-man impressions. His name was Captain Mattheus, and he kindly advised us where to go, and also where not to. We also got to look at his gun, which he seemed to be VERY proud of. And he really was JUST LIKE a police-man in the movies. In fact, I’m gutted we didn’t have a funny photo taken with him.

Keep smiling, Ben x