BEN’S BLOG: ‘An official announcement regarding the 2016 Greyhound Derby winner’

[dropcap]B[/dropcap]log, why do we have to continually suffer, hearing student-drongos, moaning about their loans? They only pay them back, on a very slow drip, once they are earning (if ever), and the debt is interest-free anyway. On top of this, they receive a myriad of discounts, during their easy-option years,‎ and don’t pay tax, should they work (the rare few, that aren’t subsidised by the Bank of Mummy and Daddy, of course).

When I was 17 years old, and made my way out, into the big wide world, I don’t remember the government giving me any interest-free-loans, to get going on all of my crap business ideas. Nor, whilst my friends were pissing it up, on discount beer in the Uni bar, did I receive any concessions or discounts.

I think ALL student loans, for not essential degrees, should be subject to a 10% interest-rate. That way, we’ll find out who’s actually serious about studying, and not just being a life-dodger. And if you don’t like that option, that’s fine, I’ll see you in the office, on Monday morning, at 8.59am. And please make sure that you’ve HAD A SHAVE, YOUR PHONE IS CHARGED, AND YOU ARE ALERT FOR YOUR FIRST REAL WORKING DAY.

In other news:

I am today able to officially unveil, the winner to be, of the 2016 Greyhound Derby. Max Shoes, Star’s long-serving shoe-man, I believe, ‎is now cheering on, the best dog he will ever own. Cloran Paddy is it’s name, and in it’s second run, last night, at Sheffield, he produced this electrifying display. DON’T MAKE AN UNLUCKY-FACE AND SAY YOU WEREN’T TOLD.

Over and out, B x