BEN’S BLOG: ‘Belindabelle – paralyzed by the air from an overhead-fan. Possibly only days to live.’

[dropcap]B[/dropcap]log, am I the only male-chauvinist-pig around here, to think that girls like competing and showing-off, over how many on-going illnesses and ailments they’ve currently got? writes BEN KEITH (right).

Belindabelle has now claimed that if she sleeps in a room with an overhead fan on, it will give her a paralyzed-face. ?? !! Who the bloody hell’s ever got a paralyzed-face from sitting near a fan??!!

I would like to pose the question today, of what percentage of government health funding is spent on males, and what percentage on females? I am now, simply, unable to negotiate a new day, without Belindabelle inventing, sorry, discovering, a new shin, knee, eye, head, eyebrow, skin, tummy, nose, or toe problem – ALL that need to be discussed – AT LENGTH. Belinda – you are single-handedly drowning the poor NHS!!

In other news:

Before I came on holiday with Jerry ‘Warfumstaw’ Croxford, I thought I was the King of the ‘Gordos’ (‘Fat Man’ in Spanish). Tragedy has struck, and I’ve been unable to source, on the entire island, any of my beloved Almond Magnums. Jerry has saved the day though, and introduced me to Snickers ice-creams, an unequal, but adequate replacement. However, Blog, he’s force-feeding me about four a day!

Over and out, B x