BEN’S BLOG: ‘Cheltenham 2014: God is a Bookmaker’
[dropcap]B[/dropcap]log, do you sometimes question the meaning of life and what comes next? Often, I ask myself whether the Punters & Staff will be allowed into Heaven? Or if a separate area, with counsellors on hand to deal with all of their problems and impositions, will be provided for them? Attending events such as Cheltenham and Royal Ascot, really is so painful, having to repeatedly see the faces, of those who have knocked or rumped you, one way or another over the years. I hope it won’t be like that for the rest of eternity for myself and my Bookmaker brethren.
What I can assure you of though, Blog, is that God is, in fact, a Bookmaker. How do I know this? How has this piece of divine inspiration reached my disturbed mind? Well, when he built Cheltenham, it obviously took some time. Shall we say a week? There is the perfect layout of the course to consider. The viewing, without equal. And the fabulous hills that sit in the background.
There was one thing that he didn’t forget though…
One vital aspect, of a racecourse, that assures me he’s one of the good guys…
He built a hill.
A hill that breaks favourites. It stops them dead in their tracks, and their steering goes, between one and two out. I know that my work is done, when the crowd, that has been building up and up in their cheers all the way round, is suddenly silenced. And again…the Cheltenham Hill has saved the bookmakers.
Suddenly, they don’t know they’re 5/4 chances anymore. As the 25/1 shots glide by, they are just levelled up, to being another horse running up a steep field.
Whenever there’s a short-one running in a race at Cheltenham and a puntery type asks me what I fancy to beat it. I ALWAYS respond: ‘I fancy THE HILL. THE HILL will beat them all!!’.
Yes, I am that mad, Blog.
1 day to go.
In other news:
I have spent the weekend in Brighton: Visiting The Elderly and Infirm (to hear about their ever growing litany of self-inflictions), The Staff (to sooth any pre-Cheltenham union-faces), Belindabelle (must keep showing face here, Blog), running with my dog, Mr Josh, and also enjoying some self-indulgence at my favourite Italian: Marrocco’s. It just gets better and better. The best, thin in the middle but puffed up and crunchy on the sides, pizza bases. Delicious homemade ice-cream (don’t miss the Snickers flavour). And simply the finest starter you will find: their Seafood Bruschetta. Go on, treat yourself.
Getting ready to stick it right up some of those Cheltenham jollies! Come on The Hill, get me out of trouble YET AGAIN!!