BEN’S BLOG: I AM THE £600 million MAN !!!

Blog, you need to check out this kool gurl, ‘The Resident’. I have recently subscribed to her YouTube channel and find her little street-interview-shows highly entertaining indeed. She’s a bit of a leftie, but we’ll let her off that one, because she’s totally gorgeous and such a feisty little cow. Her shows really are quite addictive and I think you’ll be sitting there for some time watching them one after the next. The best ones are where she’s interviewing Americans in the street and just leading them right up the garden path. Enjoy..

In other news:

Blog, I’m a desperate man. I need to press rewind, move time back, and relive a vital moment, a life T-junction. Whilst recently imposing myself on The Dark Knight, for the millionth time, an interesting conversation ensued with, unfortunately for me, the incorrect ending.

The DK was telling me that he is considering selling a building he paid north of an incredible £600million for. Yep, that’s true. But, he told me, his problem was, that if he carried through with the deal, what would he do with the wonga?

Like a staff immediately bottling a basic opportunity; my breath stifled for a moment, my jaw locked, and my mouth and voice stopped working. I was stunned by the pound signs and unable to function in my usual unashamed opportunistic state.

Blog, I KNOW what the Dark Knight can do with his £600million. And I think you do too, don’t you..? I mean, it wouldn’t be unreasonable if he asked to hold back a few quid for himself would it? (As long as he didn’t take the piss, of course, and Rule 4 too much of it.)

BLOG, I AM THE £600MILLION MAN! Just think of all the crap business ideas I could flush away that ammo on. MY TIME HAS COME!

A Star branded jet and helicopter, private sittings at Toffs Fish n Chips, a Mayfair mansion with a mannequin of Mrs Thatcher sitting in the corner of the lounge, Will Stockbroker advising me on grotesque levels of unnecessary materialism to force upon Gaul Wood, a special armchair and popcorn machine in the office for Lofty, an assistant for Pam Statements to send texts to in the middle of the night, holding court and growing ever fatter whilst vetting new and crap business deals in Rules Restaurant, high-profile ill-advised oil trades and sub-prime lending, the list goes ON AND ON AND ON, believe me!

Dark Knight, put aside and forget all of your previous achievements. Your time really now has come and your reserved seat on the Star-Sports-Starship-Enterprise fully warmed and waiting for you. Just don’t forget the readdies and…hold on tight!!!

Coming 2 a blog near U soon:

Major Nooz. Major U.S. of A Nooz.

B x