BEN’S BLOG: ‘Introducing Lucy’

Good morning, Blog. I would say that Chris Pitt, the editor of BOS magazine, who has overcome such a terrible disability, is my life hero. However, right up there, enjoying hero status, has to be Lucy, the Chinese massage girl, at El Duque beach, in Tenerife.

In a world full of spoilt and moaning English whiteys, Lucy truly is an inspiration. She did what it took to get to Europe, and she now ducks and dives, to miss the patrolling Spanish police, and serve her longstanding clientbase; of 7 years now. Working every single day, except the 2 – 3 months she returns to China each year, she’s bought herself two flats in Tenerife, and four in China, with which she uses the income from, to look after her aging parents. Anyone who has the iron self-will, to keep rubbing oil, into my grossly overweight and unattractive body, deserves to be a bloody multi-millionaire, as far as I’m concerned..!!

Oh! oh!! oh!!! Is it not going to plan? Did it all turn out to be a waste of time, doing a silly degree, and smoking drugs for three years, at a university crammed with lots of other wets? Didn’t mummy and daddy pull up some money to buy you a house? Or help you start a dreamy crap 100/1 creative business? Its all just soooo unfaaiirrr…!! PULL YOUR FINGER OUT AND DO IT YOURSELF.

In other news:

Following the recent scandal, of a group of Chelsea football fans, being involved in a racist incident, on a Paris train, I have to say, this response, from West Ham is truly classic. Enjoy.

Over and out, B x