BEN’S BLOG: ‘Long Live the Star Army..!!’

[dropcap]B[/dropcap]log, I don’t know what’s happening at the moment, but we, The Star Army, are falling, all over the place..!

Stevie ‘Sex-Shop’ Warner (pictured, right), one of our most loyal soldiers, from Leicester, has, most unreasonably, had to nick an unsuspecting passer-by’s kidney.

And what the bloody-hell’s wrong with young Lewis Brown.? He’s only a baby..! Poor Lewis, has had to have a large lump removed, and I’m not just talking about a pile of his dad, bookmaker, Bo’s, huge amount of readdies..!!

We send our love to both…

In other news:

I write to you, from a taxi, on the way to Heathrow. I’m off to Spain, with Belindabelle, for an enforced Group-Socialising-and-Family-Stuff Holiday. But to take some of the pain away, (as I’m the most fidgety and annoying traveller in the whole World – as you can imagine, I’m sure!), we’ve organised a right old coup. BA flights. Yes, Blog! THANK GOD; the last outpost of hope, for any Not-Staff; British Airways. Us Fat-Whiteys need room to spread out, you know? Yes, yes..you still have to do the journey, so what’s the difference really? Not having to sit near any Unpleasant-Puntery-Types: THAT’S THE DIFFERENCE, BLOG.!!

Over and out, B x