BEN’S BLOG: ‘OK, this is an emergency! Someone get the Portions Police on the phone – NOW!!’

‘OK, this is an emergency! Someone get the Portions Police on the phone – NOW!!’

Greetings from Tenerife, my dear Blog. It’s the last day of my unpaid holiday, and I’m afraid, that I have some rather worrying restaurant news…

Last night, we made our way to Los Abrigos, a fishing village, just down the coast. My favourite, Restaurante Los Abrigos, was closed for the evening, so we tried one of its neighbours, the highly rated, Los Roques, instead. http://www.restaurantelosroques.com/therestaurant/introduction/

Oh dear, oh dear. This really is one for the Oolies, Blog. If EVER, there was a full show, of the pretentious and unnecessary; this was it. In a world where half of us are starving, or don’t have access to fresh water, diners had to endure endless, Ooly Fooly fancy explanations, about the food and the accompanying wine. And when the portions appeared, I was waiting for Jeremy Beadle to wake from the dead, jump out, and tell me it was all a big joke. The steak was bang average, and I could just about see my strangely chewy potato, if I held my glasses down close to the plate. Los Roques. SOMEONE GET THE PORTIONS POLICE ON THE PHONE. 3.

In other news:

What a class act, my favourite world leader, Vladimir Putin is, winding up leftie Europe. Cammo and Co want to look like righteous hard-nuts, when it comes to bullying a few nutters, hiding in mud-huts in the Middle East, but when the big boys wander over, he wants to play the ol’ ‘turning the other cheek’ game.

We’ve spent FAR too much money, carrying millions of non-producers, and given away a wonderful military. If I was him, I’d be charging Europe protection money. PUTIN’S FOUND US OUT GOOD AND PROPER.

Over and out, B x