AUTHOR: James Dowen

BEN’S BLOG: ‘Skiing = No Value’

[dropcap]B[/dropcap]log! How are you?! Greetings from Tenerife!!

‘Tenerife?! Again?!’ I hear you cry. Yes, Blog. Oh, yes! Quite simply different-class for a winter break.

Tenerife is what you make of it, and being fluent in Spanglish, this gives me a head-start in communication with all the yocals, and finding the best hidden moves and places to eat.

Noh a loh uh pepaw naw vis, buh, each region of Spain has it’s own specialities and styles of food. In southern Tenerife, their favoured dish is chicken and chips with salad. Yes, if you go into the local villages, where all the Canarians eat, this is virtually the only bloody dish you can get. But, thank god, they actually cook it very well.

Myself and Belindabelle, went last night, to Adeje (pronounced adec-hay). This is known as Adeje ‘Town’, as it is the ‘other side’ of the motorway, where the Canarians live, to get away from the unpleasant site of English fatties, like me, wandering about, looking a bit red, all day. This is an incredibly steep area and a taxi is imperative.
On entering the high street, two thirds of the way up, on the left hand side, before you get to the square on the right, we found the originally named; Bar Restaurante Espana. Every table was taken (always a good sign), both inside and out, except one small table for two, which I managed to wrap my enormous gut around, Belinda squeezing in opposite.

What was served up was; all the salad, well done chips, and deliciously crunchy chicken in bread-crumbs that we could eat. All cooked superbly. And the bill? Oh yes, Blog. Add on two large bottles of water, and we weighed in for the very reasonable sum of �23. ‘You can’t eat value!’. Oh yes you can, Blog! Please, take note, all Tenerife haters!!

In other news:

Michael Schumacher, clearly not a regular reader and follower of the rational-life-advice served up in this blog, is fighting for his life following a terrible skiing accident. Our thoughts are with him. I only hope too, that following this disaster, more people will consider the upsides and downsides of hurtling yourself down an icy mountain, with near to no protection, on two flimsy pieces of apparatus connected to your feet, that don’t have breaks, versus; lying under a sun-lounger on a relaxing beach. The Staff, can you too, please, take note!

Went for a massage yesterday (no naughty action, whatsoever. BB in the cabin next door!). The young Hungarian lady in charge of the situation, was telling me that the locals are always moaning they can’t find any work. She said she didn’t know why, as there are always jobs coming up. However, she went on to inform me that the move in town is to; get a job, for exactly one year, enjoy all the paid holiday benefits, and then bugger off on the 366th day. Why’s that then? Oh, the bankrupt Spanish government will then immediately pay you, full pay, for four months. So, attention all sympathisers; when Europe’s current finest leader; Anjela Merkel, is being given a guilt trip and all the unlucky-face countries are trying to nip her for a hand-out, please consider this. Are they really unlucky countries, or do they just not do things properly? There is a difference!

Over-and-out, Ben x