BEN’S BLOG: ‘Stay at home please, Martin McGuinness’

[dropcap]O[/dropcap]n competing in this year’s Brighton Marathon, I considered making a rush for glory, by leading the field for the first mile. Unusually though, I stuck with standard protocol, and completed the race in a rather unimpressive 4hours 50minutes; my slowest time yet.

I take this opportunity to thank everyone who came to support me. Belindabelle was flanked by my life aide Pam Statements, and Jerry ‘Warfumstow’ Croxford with his two children; George and Tom. The Elderly and Infirm, too, even got in on the act, with both representatives in attendance, before going home, in order for my mum to prepare an almost ‘best ever’ Sunday roast.

I thank one group of people, and one man, in particular though. The Tarr family have been a constant in my life for many years now. Always so loyal and kind to me, treating me as one of their own. At the helm is their dad, Alec, who is a true rock of a man. Always there. Always. Thank you, Alec.

In other news:

Not only have Buckingham Palace been entertaining far too many of The Corporate People of late, but they are now also preparing dinner for Sinn Fein politician and former IRA soldier; Martin McGuinness. This is a DISGRACE and DEEP INSULT to our country. When Mr McGuinness won a seat as an MP, he chose not to take part, as he would have to swear allegiance to the Queen. Well, like so many of these people that tell us how much better it is back home, why would he even need to come to England, LET ALONE have dinner with the Queen? Unless the gallows have been reconstructed at Wandsworth Prison, I see no reason why Martin McGuinness or Gerry Adams would be welcome on British soil, and hope that the Royal Family reconsider this offer of hospitality.

Blog, I write to you from the beach, at El Cotillo (means ‘the nosey one’ in Spanish), in Fuerteventura. My first time here, I fear though, that a certain rather naughty Mr Bill Esdaile, of Square in The Air, may have been responsible for the advert we responded to, in applying for our holiday accomodation. We were led to believe that the property enjoyed the benefit of a private pool and that it was only five minutes from the beach. The pool may be private, if the other 500 residents choose not to go for a swim at the same time as you. And the beach may be 5 minutes away, should you own a helicopter!! Anyway, the sun is shining, and that’s what counts.

Hasta lluego, Ben x