BEN’S BLOG: ‘The Benjamin Keith Car Cleaning Company’

 [dropcap]B[/dropcap]log, I have been down in Brighton for the weekend, and yesterday I drove along to West Worthing seafront, to buy some fish, off a man that has a little hut on the beach.

On the way home, I passed a hand-car-wash, and decided to stop and have the car done. The operator brought back a few happy memories, as he worked under the name of ‘Ben’s Car-Wash’.

My first business, at the age of seven, was finding lost golf balls, on a Sunday morning, at the local golf club, and selling them back to the members in the car-park afterwards. Trade was brisk, and I knocked them out at 50p a go, if memory serves me right.

However, come the age of twelve, I decided it was time to branch out, and during the Hurstpierpoint Village Fayre, when the local car-park was full, slid leaflets under people’s windscreen-wipers, advertising the ‘Benjamin Keith Car Cleaning Company‘. Jobs started at £2 a go, and my high-rollers used to splash out and have an ‘inside and out’ for £4. It was tough work in the cold, but I earned a few quid, and it was used as ammo to fire with; at the local betting shop, Hassocks Racing, at Hove Dogs, or if I bunked-off school in time on a Monday; at Plumpton Races (a bookie called Bubbles, from Hove, used to come to the gate and get me in for free, as the main ring at Plumpton was WAYYY beyond my means at that time). What days they were; watching the tic-tacs, floor-men, and clerks in action…

Anyway, I digressed, Blog. Whilst having the car cleaned at Ben’s Car-Wash (I am not their backer) in Worthing, I noticed, as the cold water sprayed up in the faces of the people working, that half the employees were young girls, probably of about eighteen years of age. It was clear that all of the workers were of Eastern European descent, and getting fully stuck in to their task. Probably, I would have thought, for a bit of cash-in-hand; not that there’s anything wrong with that, if its the only day’s work you can get yourself. I have to say, Blog, these were bitter conditions to work in, and I definitely felt a mixture of both respect, but also pity, for the hard-working girls amongst the team.

Blog, the question is though: why can’t they find, just a few, of the millions, of fat, lazy, English whiteys, to do the work? Because its an easier ride on the dole and benefits gravy-train, that’s why! Why slog your guts out in the wind and rain, for £60 a day, when you can sit at home all day, eating crisps and KFC, having all of your exes paid, and cop some beer money on top?!

I only hope that David Cameron marches forward with his intended benefits cuts, and we see some of the bone-idol passengers, doing a day’s work at Ben’s Car-Wash!

In other news:

Great to see the good guys (the bookies) getting the money at this year’s Cheltenham Festival! I didn’t know results like that still existed, and after several tough Cheltenhams and Royal Ascots in recent years, am most grateful. The ring was buzzy, it really was, Blog. We took great cash money on the first day and there were certainly a few decent punters doing the rounds. Is this a sign that the economy is starting to turn…and maybe even the betting-ring, just a touch, too? Let’s hope so.

The bookie betting behind me, in Tattersalls, was a guy called MV McCarten. He was a nice bloke, and I had a chat with him after the first day. He said to me, in the sweetest of Irish accents: ‘You know, I don’t normally like to win on the first day. It makes a me a little over confident.’. I have never suffered from the same modesty, I have to say, Blog!

Over and out, Ben x