BEN’S BLOG: ‘The last sanctuary for The Staff’

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]here is a last sanctuary, for every; malingerer, cash-thief, colluder with clients, divisive trade-unionist, and repeated incompetent. Once correctly relieved of their working position, they head, by instinct, almost like an elephant tracking the same ancient path, across Africa, to the Citizens Advice Bureau. On arrival at the CAB, they are advised, almost whatever their circumstances, to sue their former employer for unfair dismissal. This, then, is quite literally, the greatest free-bet of all time.

Downside for employee – Nothing. They don’t pay for their legal-fees, because they source the services of a leftie-specialist, no-win, no-fee solicitor. They’ve got plenty of, responsibility-free, time on their hands too, so that’s not wasted either.

Upside for employee – Getting their former employer to settle immediately (the advised figure is always £3k), or go all the way, making a bad-back and depression, and play for a real draw.

The employer, OF COURSE, has to pay for their own legal fees. And should the Staff, lose it’s case, they walk scot-free and lose nothing. An impossible situation to win, for a Not-Staff.

I am DELIGHTED to report though, Blog, that Staffs now have to pay £1,200 to bring such piss-takes to court. This has now resulted in a drop, by a staggering 74%, of claims. The Staff aren’t such good movers when they have to pull some money up. SURPRISE SURPRISE.

In other news:

This Blog’s spiritual-leader, Gordon Gekko once said that the most valuable commodity he knows of, is information. The standard price of a Magnum Classic, in Hyde Park, is £2.70. I have recently, Blog, sourced a lone-seller, at a price of only £2, of the even better version: Almond Magnums. This is a supreme edge, that I have gained through use of my personal stealth and cunning. AND I WONT BE TELLING YOU LOT.

Over and out, B x