BEN KEITH: Thieving lefties and Charlie Tarr – New WR!!

Blog, some more thieving lefties have been found out!!! This time, the ‘Green Mafia’ have struck in Cambodia, their do-gooding con coming at a cost of £32million.

The ‘Sustainable Growth Group’ (good name to pull the punters in) have been hood-winking ‘investors’, who have been treated as mugs, and all twelve hundred have parted with sums of money between £30k and £400k, hoping to make profits from ecological businesses. Born yesterday, they believed that a plant called the ‘Jatropha’ (pictured), in relation to the ‘Manobo’ tribe, was the answer to the world’s energy crisis, and ploughed their savings in, to only find out a short time later, that it was unrealistic and the plan was scrapped.

Nevermind all of these fantasists pointing their fingers at every businessman on the planet, saying that we all need to be regulated. Their hair-brained schemes should be fully vetted before members of the public, who mean well, are allowed to flush their savings down the bog, backing the latest leftie brain-waves.

Readers, answers on post cards, please. What green ‘investments’ can Star Racing Ltd start offering? For a front-man, I can dress Gaul Wood up in his best brown cardigan and green jeans, Pam Statements and Lukey, fresh from a grunge concert, on hand to assist, and we can really make one of these schemes credible and start pulling in backers. Anything’s got to be easier than trying to be a credit bookmaker!

In other news:

Charlie Tarr (pictured), our Star Spreads ‘supremo’, has today completed the London to Brighton bike-ride, in a new personal WR of four hours, forty five minutes. What an incredible effort. Well done, Char!

Went for a curry at ‘Mumtaz’, in Marylebone, with ‘The Dark Knight’ and Tom Power, on Friday night. Dear, oh dear, Blog. This really was a let-down. It looks great from the outside but the food was poor from the word go. No proper chopped-salad with the poppadoms and tasteless mint sauce, was then followed by dry and overly spicy chicken tikka massala and korma for mains. The only half-decent thing served up was a cheese naan bread, which I thought was a great idea. Avoid!

Coming soon 2 a Royal Ascot blog near U: Scone reviews, the Elderly and Infirm’s antics in the Star box on Wednesday, Lukey and Bill getting over-excited about their potential ante-post coups, and me getting wound up by the £2 each-way punters in the ring.

In a while crocodiles, Ben x