AUTHOR: Star Sports Content

Pam Statements on active service in ‘Nam

Blog, I write with some urgency.  Last week, during Cheltenham, Pam Statements told me that she had to rush up to London, to get a passport, in order to fly out to Vietnam.  I said ‘But Pam, the war is over.  And you really must stop referring to the country as ”Nam”.  Blog, the poor girl just wouldn’t listen, she was so determined and head-strong; what an American!

Had dinner with AM, my token leftie friend, last night.  He was in good form, and fresh from lots of recent adventures of saving society and the bone idol.  I write with good news though, Blog.  I think I’ve nearly broken him down.  I think we’re nearly there, at last.  AM seems to be turning into a bit of a ‘rightie’.  Loving his new role of being in charge of a large group of FORMERLY fellow Middle-Class-Lefties, the power seems to have gone to his head and ignited some sense.  AM, almost foaming at the mouth and pointing his fingers like an enraged fascist, told me that he was ‘tired of their excuses’ and had fired (well, obviously teachers can’t actually be properly fired, but you know what I mean; ‘moved on’) three of his former comrades!  Oh how the worm has turned, Blog!  Like any good ‘true blue’, he’s also upgrading his house, and pressing at every opportunity, by hook or by crook, to earn more money.  As the baddie in ‘Gladiator’ might have once said; ‘Unchain the staff and set him free!’.

So, a couple more people have died skiing or bizarrely wandering around, on the tops of mountain glaciers in Mont Blanc.  And there’s a media frenzy over the event.  It was all SO unlucky!  Why?!  Skiing’s for nutters.  End of.  The Staff love the retort of ‘But you can die doing anything and everything in life!’.  Really, Blog?  Is that REALLY true?  Was Gary Kasparov ever in that much danger when preparing to make a killer chess move?  Does lying back in a hammock, sipping on a Fanta Lemon, contravine your travel insurance regulations?  I don’t really think so.  The Staff, stay away from the ice and the snow.  Not only will you avoid life-threatening injuries, but you will also thus avoid being grossly late back from holiday, to work, by imposing such injuries on me!  Action, Re-action!!

B x