SIMON NOTT BETTING REPORT: Cheltenham New Year’s Day

Lessons learned from my misspent youth, just a couple of beers and a glass of bubbly to see in the New Year, so I drove smugly hangover free to Cheltenham. The first winner of the day was meeting Star Head of On-Course ‘Inlike’ Flynn’s baby son and his partner for the first time. Dear little chap he is too, and so is little Arthur, visiting a racecourse for the first time in his 14-week-old life.

12:15 – Ballymore Novices’ Hurdle (Listed) (GBB Race) (Class 1) (4YO plus) 2m 4½f

The idea was to get a nice photo of Arthur with his dad on the pitch, little Arthur was more interested in kipping, understandably his mum didn’t want to wake him up just for a photo opportunity so the blog photo had to wait. The betting for the first was lively and in places hefty. Nicky Henderson’s I Am Maximus attracted a cash bet of £4125 – £3000 and £6000 – £4000 on the Star Sports pitch on the rail. The other best-backed horse in the race Hillcrest also saw decent support but nothing like the strength of the jolly. The hope was that those who appeared happy to lay the favourite on the exchanges knew more than those lumping on cash on course. Lofty didn’t fancy the favourite either so another bonus.

A roar went up as the field set off for the first Cheltenham race of 2022, still little Arthur slept, like a baby. Lofty pointed out that the first favourite lost the book £8500, the next best was Hillcrest winning over £5000. He chortled that should the bogie be battling it with anything up the hill little Arthur was sure to wake up, ideally to the cheers of the firm getting it turned over. That’s how it panned out, the betting was correct, the bogie versus Hillcrest up the hill. Most of the crowd appeared to be booming home the jolly, sadly for the them, the betting was ‘almost’ correct, their shouts stuck in the throats as I Am Maximus capitulated to the second in close home, replaced by a hearty ‘Aye Aye’ from Lofty. The big fella was right about the result but not about the sleeping capacity of little Arthur, no Cheltenham cheer or beaten bogie was going to rouse him from his slumber just yet. Over in the Star Sports office the winner attracted a bet of £5000 at 10/3 whilst the runner-up £7000 at 7/4. The other bet of note there was Jacks A Legend attracting £200 each-way at 80/1.

12:50 – New Four Eighty Restaurant At Cheltenham Festival Handicap Chase (GBB Race) (Class 2) (5YO plus) 3m 2½f

News from Rory in the Star Sports office was that whilst they’d held a decent spread of bets nothing stood out in the next. It was much the same story on the rails. It was brisk but very small compared to the opener. At the off, the only loser in the book was Nigel Twiston-Davies’ Undersupervision, that despite a punt on Gary Moore’s Full Back supported from 13/2 into 9/2 joint favourite on course. The gamble was landed in an eventful race but won a monkey in the book. The firm had followed the prices down but got left out by the punters, of course winning over a Gary Moore gamble was a right result. Meanwhile, little Arthur’s mum had taken him for a spin in his pram ‘to try and wake him up’, phrases you never hear generally!

1:25 – Paddy Power Novices’ Chase (Registered As The Dipper Novices’ Chase) (Grade 2) (GBB Race) (Class 1) (5YO plus) 2m 4½f

Next up and another heat of modest betting on course. Star Sports did manage to lay £1050 – £400 the favourite L’Homme Presse early on, then a couple of hundred quid bet on Come On Teddy at 15/2 which made it the bogie and also gives you an idea of the business. Lofty had his own fancy, as he often does, after all Star’s ‘Union man’ has his own mind. He hopped off the stool to back Oscar Elite, each-way at 14/1, that’s 100/7 with the fractions. I’ll spare the bookmaker’s blushes, but he replied ‘I don’t do the fractions’, Lofty responded with a withering look, which did the trick. The layer retracted and said that whilst he did actually do the fractions, he didn’t know how to put them into his computer. Luckily, Lofty is an amiable sort of chap in those situations and offered to put the bet in for him.

Sadly for Lofty, his fancy wasn’t so compliant and finished fourth. Business still a little slow I had a wander down the ring and was delighted to see that Andy of G&T Williams had been reunited with his mostly now retired floorman since the 1980’s Mossy. The 74 year old had been called in as a super-sub when the intended member of staff apparently overindulged last night and subsequently declared a late non-runner. It was lovely to see Mossy, he too had been something of a Union man when a ‘Floorman fee’ was mooted to be introduced back in the 1990’s – Mossy called a meeting at this very course and rallied the troops in protest, it worked, floormen were left out by the NJPC.

By the time I got back to the rails, they were running. The 7/4 jolly L’Homme Presse won the race and cost the firm a carpet. The office didn’t get away with it though, they laid bets of £2000 and £1000 plus plenty of smaller bets the winner but the blow was lessened by a bet of £11,000 – £4000 the runner-up The Glancing Queen. Arthur? Still rumbling around the racecourse in his mummy powered pram, oblivious to the sport going on around him.

After the race, the sponsor’s Racecourse Ambassador Paul Binfield told me “L’Homme Presse has a fair way to go to emulate Al Boum Photo, who got the job done again in Ireland, but Venetia Williams looks to have unearthed another potential star in the shape of L’Homme Presse who dotted up in the Paddy Power Novices’ Chase. He’s fourth favourite for the Turners Novices’ Chase now and looks like he might be able to follow in the hoofprints of the stable’s top performers such as Teeton Mill and Royale Pagaille. Second-placed The Glancing Queen looks to have a bright future as well and certainly wasn’t disgraced on her step up in grade and against the boys and she’ll be a tough nut to crack if Alan King decides to return her to races confined to the fairer sex.”

2:00 – Paddy Power New Year’s Day Handicap Chase (Grade 3) (GBB Race) (Class 1) (5YO plus) 2m 4½f

They bet 5/1 the field in the next, hugely competitive as it was and there were plenty of decent bets in the Star Sports office. Rory told me that they’d laid bets of £21,000 – £3000 Zanza £10,000 – £1000 Simply The Betts and £9000 – £1000 Galahad Quest. The on-course book did brisk but more modest trade, Inlike and Lofty had three losers, Coole Cody, Funambule Sivola and Simply The Betts. Nigel Twiston-Davies Vienna Court won the race at 10/1 winning a ‘round of drinks’ according to Lofty. The big bonus was that little Arthur decided the feature race was the time to make an appearance. The photo was worth the wait I’m sure you’ll agree, it’s a keeper.

2:35 – Paddy Power Handicap Hurdle (GBB Race) (Class 2) (4YO plus) 3m

Ladies and Gentlemen, one thing you learn in any form of gambling is not to get too big for your boots. The following features a distressing tale of an overconfident man swinging metaphorical dog phalli. If this is likely to upset you, please skip to the next paragraph now. As previously mentioned, Lofty has his own opinions on things, I won’t repeat his opinion of the pilot of Dolphin Square but it was strong enough for him to go 33/1 when it was there in places but generally 28/1. Needless to say the value spotters moved in, you don’t need much on at that price to make it a loser for nearly £3000 and the absolute bogie. Considering Lofty’s summing up of the jockey’s abilities, that same brave pilot did jolly well to get past Kansas City Chief up the hill to win by a length and a quarter (pictured below). Luckily for any sensitive souls around the Star Sports joint, the roars of the other bookies celebrating skinners drowned out Lofty’s spluttering protestations. I’m not sure if it was the volume of the other layers that made Flynn’s eyes roll, but rolling they were. It will come as no surprise that the Star Sports’ team didn’t tip the winner to Flynn’s partner Esme, she offered me a quote for the blog, it simply read ‘When will I stop doing my money?’ That’s a fair question for which I had no answer. Little Arthur did the best thing with all the turmoil going on around him and went back to sleep, oblivious. The office laid two biggish bets, £4400 at 9/2 Pileon and a monkey at 12/1 Ask Dillon making up for the on-course bravado.

3:10 – Dornan Engineering Relkeel Hurdle (Grade 2) (GBB Race) (Class 1) (5YO plus) 2m 4½f

Punters and bookmakers alike often console themselves that ‘It will turn’, when things aren’t going their way. ‘It’ rarely turns as quickly as it did today. The guys on the rails were still licking their wounds betting on the penultimate when a punter waded in and struck a bet of £10,000 – £4000 Guard Your Dreams. There was very little chance of betting up to it, so the book was made. They needed to get Guard Your Dreams beaten. When the news came in from Rory in the office that they had a double running on to the same horse that would cost the firm £80,000 getting Nigel Twiston-Davies’ charge beaten was a company-wide concern. Lofty reckoned the bogie was cooked two out and said, that was tempting fate but he was right, the gelding could only manage third behind Willie Mullins’ 4/1 chance Stormy Ireland. Thanks to the bet over and above anything else taken in the race, the winner copped over £4000, more than compensating for laying the result in the previous race. It’s a funny old game. Rory told us that the office laid a bet of £5000 – £1250 the winner to take the shine off just a little but I’m sure they’d settle for that.

3:50 – Pony Club ‘Junior’ NH Flat Race (Listed) (GBB Race) (Class 1) (4YO only) 1m 6f

The feature of the betting for the concluding bumper was the move for Nicky Henderson’s Royal Max supported from 7/1 into 9/2. The gelding didn’t feature in the finish of the race itself though. Chester Williams made a gallant attempt to win from the front on his father Nick’s charge Iliade Allen. He looked like he might do it too only for his and the gelding’s backers to have their hearts broken as Paddy Brennan under Fergal O’Brien’s 7/2 favourite Poetic Music collared the duo with a 100 yards to go winning going away.

Brennan was evidently delighted, punching the air in celebration as the combination crossed the line. The winner was a small loser in the on-course book, which meant punters leaving the course on a winning note but not copping a lot from Star Sports. It was a different story over in the office, their noted bets were as follows, £3500 – £1000 and £5000 – £1500 Poetic Music and £9900 – £2200 each-way Iliade Allen. Nasty.

Little Arthur was nowhere to be seen, hopefully despite his laid back attitude to his first day on the turf he’s got the taste for it.

We’re back here on Trials Day. Happy New Year one and all.

SIMON NOTT

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Views of authors do not necessarily represent views of Star Sports Bookmakers.

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Simon Nott is author of: Skint Mob! Tales from the Betting Ring
available on Kindle CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS

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